I need a new hairstyle.
Last night while watching TV, my wife told me she’d like to see me try a new hairstyle…which means that I need a new hairstyle.
I’ve “done” my hair twice. In my life.
I’ve literally had the same haircut since I was 11.
To be honest, I’ve never had great hair.
Like what the hell is that, mom? First of all: that shirt? Did my mom think I was George Strait? A button jean shirt, buttoned to the top? Woof.
But then look at that hair. Yikes.
Things didn’t get better. That smile is horrible, and that shirt. Oh my gosh. Was I going to my league bowling match later that day? Ugh.
This is one of the two times I actually “did” my hair. I put so much gel and hairspray in it that you could have used my hair as guitar strings.
Finally, what the hell is that? Is that an afro? I’m a fat white kid who grew up on a farm. Why the hell did my hair suddenly have volume on one day ever?
My hair is straight as an arrow. And no matter how long it gets, it’s still straight as an arrow.
Which makes it tough to find a new hairstyle. But my wife didn’t like my suggestions.
So do you have any recommendations for me?
Here’s what my hair looks like now: